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All 8 movie Reviews


George Lucas George Lucas

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Puns and penises...

...make for great animations. The sound quality was gross, and the Dr. Katz wobble isn't my cup of tea -- but damn am I a sucker for short animations, dicks, and puns.

But that dude's gotta be shitty in the sack if he blows his load that fast. I can hold out, like... at least twice as long as that.



The Happiest Dance EVER! The Happiest Dance EVER!

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Gave me wood.

Look at these jackasses reviewing this shit. Just come out and say it: "It didn't have anything from the Matrix soundtrack, so I didn't like it."

It was very refreshing to see something different on Newgrounds. Short and simple, yeah, but I can only stand so many "extreme" movies with "cool" music.

I think it's badass shit, Stereo123, so keep it up, and I hope to see more from you -- be it Happy Dances or otherwise.



-= PEE MAN =- -= PEE MAN =-

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

MANOWAR MANOWAR LIVIN' ON THE ROAD! *bck'ooo*

FUCK YEAH TO MANOWAR! I actually like that shitty band. Something about 80's metal still existing in the 21st century really tickles my fancy.

But for the cartoon, it had style, which I find most important. The pee seemed kinda thick at points, like when Pee Man pissed on the cops' heads, but other than that confusion, it was a nice simple animation with rocking tunes.

And, since you didn't give them credit, that song is "Hand of Doom" by Manowar from their latest CD -- but I wouldn't suggest buying it because it's full of sappy-ass 9/11 songs. HORRIBLE.

Go Karl Logan! Wail that shit!


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For Bassclock For Bassclock

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Just as bad as they are.

You've done to Kurama1 and the_healing_version what they've done to Bassclock. That's such a presidential way to solve this problem. You portay the two aforementioned people as imbred morons who wear "I Heart COCK" and "Fags R Me!" clothing. Well NATURALLY, of course, because gay people are evil, just like those damned ragheads and coons! (I hope you see my sarcasm.)

And yes, this all may be a condradiction of what I'm preaching, but there's no need to worry about immature kids hiding behind the internet's blessed anonymity. I mean, look at Kumara1's profile. It's no surprise he's a 13-year-old who says his job is "Dinosaur" because he's too timid to say "My mommy gives me allowance". the_healing_15_year_old begs to be banned and lists a favorite film as "freedy got fingerd".

All they want attention, and you gave it to them.

I sound like a god damn parent.

But I guess the animation was good for being made in a couple hours. My last submission was months ago and I still haven't gotten around to finish my next piece. Where it's due, where it's due...


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Lordbenny responds:

I agree with much of what you say.

I don't think homosexuals are bad people, I depict them wearing that clothing because it is the vulgar sort of thing an "insult" that would piss them off. They would think "HEY! I'M NOT A FAG! FAGS ARE BAD!" Because they are idiots.

And blasting them because they blast someone else doesn't make me a hero by any stretch of the imagination, but I am not telling them I'm overjoyed by the death of their friend. So I don't consider myself the same level as them.


Taco-Man hates the RIAA Taco-Man hates the RIAA

Rated 5 / 5 stars

What's this? A laugh on Newgrounds?

It's rare to see a funny flash on Newgrounds. (Front page or not, you gotta admit there's some busters out there.) Making those shitty, tear-jerking anti-drug ads obscurely relate to pirating music was very funny, and they were arranged perfectly. I was entertained the whole way through, and I was captivated by Taco-Man's raw charisma on top of all of that!

Side-bitch about the RIAA: Their site says only 10% of bands are profitable, and those bands make up for the other 90%. Gosh, we certainly can't drop any of those shitty bands... let's just sue people who want the one good song off their album and push away technology, rather than embrace it!

Support indie music! That is, if it doesn't suck!


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World's On Heroin World's On Heroin

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Bill Stevenson Clock

I never thought I'd see the day where my favorite band meets my most hated Newgrounds characters. The art-style in this piece was great, but the animation was standard Clock Crew rotate this, rotate that. Syncing animation to the music was good, but more was needed than that. Perhaps some scenery changes? If Strawberry Clock was rocking a Bonus Cup, that would be allular.

Do something from Percolater and you'll get a 10.



Robocop:001 Robocop:001

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

ABOUT TIME WE GOT MORE ROBOCOP

"MORE ROBOCOP" isn't just the tattoo on my forehead -- it's the saying I live by! I recently got the director's cut of Robocop. Rated X by 1980's standards, it was pretty tame, but still it was MORE ROBOCOP. And I love MORE ROBOCOP.

I am a little against 3D in Flash -- a LITTLE against -- when it's used extensively like in this animation. I feel like it's "cheating", but maybe I'm just jealous... It looks rad though!

The simple yet effective shadows of the bad guys were nice. Though some bad guys, like the silhouettes that run by in the foreground at the beginning, we very pixely... what up with that?

Also, was ol' Robo ever THAT action packed in the movies? This was more Robo-Matrix-Cop, with spins and an overly-dynamic camera. Not a complaint, just a thought.

Muzzle flashes were very effective and very innovative -- I've never seen them animated that way. Also, sparks flying off of Robocop's hot bod were a plus.

Shit, what else... My favorite flash movies are ones that make me say, "How'd they do that?" But when I see something like the stretching light symbol come out of the helicopter, I know it was easily done. Not to get all high and mighty! Shit, my animations look like a 2 year old did them! But I think you are capable of making a better looking spotlight. And why did I spend time on writing a paragraph about spotlights??? Oh yeah, the whisky...

That being said, you lose points for one thing:

*** NO ED 209 ***

What were you thinking?!? ED209 is the bread and butter of Robocop! (Let's just forget about those sequels! What the fuck were they thinking when they made Robocop 3?!?)

Anyway, best of luck on any future Robocop projects. I look forward to seeing them. They are already better than the god awful TV series.


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Super Smush Bros. Super Smush Bros.

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Captain Falcon would have destroyed him.

Show me your moves! As an avid Captain Falcon player, I am glad to see that you did not show him get beat by Kirby. For, as we all know, Kirby, and anyone else, can never survive against that all-mighty knee.

Other than that, this movie's theme was right on, but I'm not giving it a handjob or anything.